You have an opportunity to win "Dear Jane" book by Brenda Manges Papadakis. This book is amazing...it has 225 patterns for a Dear Jane quilt. There are so many blogs that just talk about Dear Jane quilts....they are so beautiful.Today you have to leave a joke in the comment section. It can be a cartoon, a joke or a funny story. Don't make me use the moderation button for your joke or story.....I'd just hate to do that :) Keep it moderately clean .... if you can't keep it too clean, than make sure us gals will really laugh :)
If you want to win a prize for this weeks giveaways please be sure to leave your e-mail in your post. If for some reason your computer does not allow you to leave comments feel free to leave your comments on my web site and I'll include them in the giveaway.
Smiles,
Kelly
Sunday after church a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."
ReplyDeleteNeedless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about.
He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming".
Ok a joke - This little piggy went to market.
ReplyDeleteThis little piggy stayed at home.
This little piggy had roast beef.
This little piggy had none.
And this little piggy went “cough, sneeze” and the whole world’s media went mad over the imminent destruction of the human race, and every journalist found out that they didn’t have to do too much work if they just did “Find ‘bird’, replace with ’swine’” on all their saved articles from a year ago, er, all the way home.
My 13-year-old son was complaining that he hated our small town last week. He went on and on about how there was nothing to do. Then he said he hated our small house and that we had no money.
ReplyDeleteI told him he could leave when he was 18, but he needed a good education or he'd be stuck here in nowheresville, NE. As for the money, you are out of luck. Your dad's job pays what it does.
Without skipping a beat he replied, "You could sue someone".
I told him it would take too long to get the money.
Kelly - I just added your link to my blog and mentioned how wonderful it is in my recent posting. I hope some of my blogging friends will visit. Let's see...a joke how about a silly quilting knock knock joke...
ReplyDeleteKnock, Knock
Who's There?
Sew
Sew Who?
Sew Who's Quilting or on a Shop Hop today?
I would love to do both everyday:) Stop by my blog if you get a chance, I posted my fabric scrapbook quilt I made for my nephew's graduation. Blessings, Jenna Louise
How did the farmer fix his jeans ?
ReplyDeleteWith a cabbage patch !
SewCalGal
www.sewcalgal.blogspot.com
SewCalGal (@) live.com
Kelly I am sure you have heard a lot of the jokes going around, but this one really tickled me.
ReplyDelete------------------------
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.
After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip.
When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving about forty minutes.
By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.
All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly
during the entire return drive.
The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute.
To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses,
the old geezer yelled to her,
'While you're in there, you might as well get
my hat and the credit card.'
Only a Quilter would embellish a quilt by spending hours and hours sewing hundreds of buttons on it, but wouldn’t take five minutes to replace a button on her jeans!
ReplyDeleteHere you go -- this is a song on one of Cathy Miller's CD's, but hers has an additional verse at the end...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art23992.asp
What's blue and goes ding-dong?
ReplyDeleteThe Avon lady at the North Pole.
Came home with that one in kindergarten.
I'm terrible at telling jokes...but here goes anyway...
ReplyDeleteA woman won the lottery...she told her husband..."Hurry and pack your bags!"
Her husband replies "Should I pack for
a Hawaiian vacation?"
The wife says "No, I'm going to Hawaii...you're getting OUT!"
Well...it WAS funny when told to me!
We have a few guest stars come out for the age old question:
ReplyDeleteSubject: Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Al though I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ......... reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
ReplyDeleteBecause 7 8 9!
Compliments of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse that I just watched with my 21 month old grandson!
P.S. There are some really cute ones posted.
Brava ladies!
You Know you are a Quilter If........
ReplyDelete"Fat Quarters" are not the heaviest part of your body
A bus driver on his route sees a van from the zoo stranded on the side of the road. The zoo worker offers the bus driver $100 to help him deliver two dozen penguins. The bus driver agrees and loads the penguins on the bus.
ReplyDeleteAn hour later, the zoo worker gets his van fixed and heads to the zoo. On the road, he sees the bus driver and the penguins driving in the opposite direction. He catches up to the bus and pulls them over.
The zoo worker yells, "I gave you a $100 to take the penguins to the zoo for me. Why are you still driving them around?"
"Calm down," the bus driver says, "I took the penguins to the zoo. We had change left over, so now I'm taking them to the movies."
Pick me! I'd love to win this!
ReplyDeleteThat is a lot of little, tiny pieces!!
ReplyDeleteCarmen
Oops, forgot the joke. Did you hear about the minister who hypnotized his flock so they would give more money in the collection plate? It was going very well until the day he dropped his watch. . . It took him a week to clean up the mess.
ReplyDeleteI can't stop laughing at the chicken one! It's priceless! Really can't compete with that!! So a very quick and very lame one...
ReplyDeleteThey said that sooner pigs would fly than that there would be a coloured president... then came swine flu...
Chicken one is so much better... Going to paste and send to hubby immediately.