I am overwhelmed with the number of e-mails I've received saying how happy the person is that I started blogging again. Thank you to all of you who take time out of your life to stop and read my blog posts. You know, I tell myself crazy things like what I do isn't that important....until I hear someone tell me that when they were off of work due to an illness that my blog was the one thing they counted on each morning to make them smile. I absolutely love writing my blog posts (unless I have to tangle with technology....then I want to break the bot). My primary drive in life is to connect with other people in a meaningful way and exchange something about this process of being a human being.
Nothing makes me feel more alive than this exchange with another person. The acknowledgement ....I see you and I care....and I'm excited to have the good fortune to have crossed paths with you. This energy fuels everything for me. It fills my tank and pulls me forward into a meaningful day. It is all about the quality of the authenticity....not the circumstances in which we find ourselves.
Now....you can imagine what happens to me when I'm isolated or I have lost someone who I have connected with in a powerful way....or when I come in prolonged contact with those who do not hold sacred the bond that is possible between human beings....my lights go dim. My life force energy can be so drained that I can no longer feel the light at the other end of the tunnel and there seems to be nothing pulling me forward.
My higher power is that power which connects us one to another to the degree that I actually feel what I consider to be the golden strand that connects us each to the other. I have been with people that just seem to radiate great energy and that can fuel me for weeks and months. The clearer and more authentic the interaction....the happier I am...even in the midst of what we humans consider darkness or negative experiences.
As I type....I'm starting to see that this probably won't be one blog post....so if you are one of those who prefers photos....ya better hit pinterest for your fix.
On October 12, 2013 I went to a embroidery guild meeting. Afterwards there was a group of gals meeting at a restaurant for lunch, one I had never been to previously. Having young children it wasn't often that I was able to get away on a Saturday for lunch so I was pleased to have the time to join them.
Once inside the restaurant...I immediately noticed it was dark....sort of like a night club. I told a gal at the front of the place that I was looking for a large group of ladies and she told me where to find them. I entered the dining room and saw the girls gathered around a few tables that had been pushed together and I walked in their direction. I was happy......feeling good....not in a rush....just a good feeling about being able to connect with these ladies outside of guild meetings.
As I walked toward the table I noticed there was only one seat available at the back side of the table on the end. I walked in that direction and as I walked behind one gal with a walker and turned the corner....everything came to an alarming halt. I had absolutely no idea why on earth I was laying on the floor. Shock....an out of body experience....what on earth....like a meteor came from outer space and knocked me to the ground. Instantly I knew I needed a doctor and asked the ladies to get a doctor call 911....I need help and I need it right now. My next awareness was the intense pain I felt at the bottom of my left leg...I pulled my leg up into the air holding it with both hands...and then I caught a glimpse of the problem...my left foot was no longer connected to my leg....it was now perpendicular. Nausea was instantaneous followed by an intense feeling of panic and pain. I asked someone to please get me something cold for my face....hoping to stay conscious....and to hold something up in front of my foot so I would not see that gruesome sight.
It wasn't until later that day while in the hospital did I learn that it was not a meteor at all....it had been some heavy beverage mats that had been folded up and placed on the dark carpeting very close to the end of the table I was going to be sitting at that had stopped me in my tracks. Apparently the dining room where we were seated had previously not been open and they opened it because of the large group of ladies coming for lunch. Who ever had cleaned the floors in front of the beverage station had removed the mats...stacked them on the carpeting and had not replaced the mats before the guests were seated. Dark dining room, dark carpeting and dark mats that I could not see were the cause of this nightmare.
After reading this....every reasonable person I have met has told me that was an accident just waiting to happen. Come to find out....the legal system in Michigan where the restaurant is located did not see this as an accident waiting to happen....they see it as an "open and obvious" situation where I did not take necessary care to assure my own safe passage.
I will pause here...because this is definitely a situation that requires chapters. I will conclude by sharing that I had to file a lawsuit to have my medical expenses and the expenses for my care covered. As a result of that lawsuit the opposing attorney was reading my blog. Once I learned this....my blog no longer felt like my place....it felt like a place where people who were attempting to find things about me to twist and turn to suit their story and I wasn't going to continue to be vulnerable. I felt violated....yet at the same time...I know I'm a very open and honest person with nothing to hide...yet...I needed to feel safe and sharing my daily experiences didn't feel safe...so my blogging trickled down until I completely stopped posting all together. The suit is now over and again I feel comfortable to return to sharing my experiences.
Choosing to Smile,