Please, Please, Please Forgive Me....Just this once.

I know this is terrible for so many reasons.....but it is also good for so many reasons.  So for those of you who appreciate this....Laugh your booty off.....for those of you who don't....this is the time where forgiveness is sooooo important.

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?



A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?


A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?


A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?


A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?


A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?


A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?


A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?


A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?


A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..


Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?


A: Hey! 'Round' a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:


Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"


AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.


1. The Japanese eat very little fat


and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat


and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans...


3. The Chinese drink very little red wine


and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine


and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats


and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


CONCLUSION:


Eat and drink what you like.


Speaking English is apparently what kills you.


Naughty Smiles,
Kelly

Tis the Season at IHAN

I'm sure a few of you are wondering where I am.  Well, I was here.....at the Kroger with Aaron, my oldest co-worker and his Cub Scout Group.  They were ringing the bell for The Salvation Army.  The boys sang Christmas songs and wished people walking by a Merry Christmas.  It was so funny to watch.  People were stopping and pulling money out of their pockets and purses right and left.  No one got a chance to put their own money into the collection canister.  The boys would grab their money and stuff in into the container.  It was so funny.  They had no idea the people should be putting their own money in.  No one seemed to mind and they collected a ton of money in a hour. 

Then I was doing this: 

Yes, that's me....the person trying their best not to eat all the candy so the kids would have some left to decorate their gingerbread houses.

Proud Aaron, Master Gingerbread House Candy Decorator and Eater of all things candy. (Takes after his Mom)

I'm so glad I took this photo.  Aaron ate the Santa off the house today right after school.  Can you believe that?  Mom goes to the post office for the afternoon run.....and Dad somehow misses the event. 

Master Zach at the helm here.  He is loving every minute of the decorating.  He was particularly thrilled when seeing how the frosting could be made to drip and look like ice sickles.

Proud Mr. Zach peeks around his house.  This is the back of his house.  He wanted the gummy treat stick left in its wrapper so he could eat it later.  What do you bet he gets up in the middle of the night one night and eats the sticky thing and then comes to bring his sticky self to bed with Rick and I? 

When I'm not doing these things.....I'm sitting with Aaron as he is practicing his reading.  He was reading a book that included Christmas Carols.  Instead of reading the words he began to sing them.....at one point he said...."Five Onion Rings"....I burst into laughter.  I said, "Aaron, where is the O for onion in that sentence."  He did not realize I noticed he was not reading he was singing.  Then came "Merry Melons" in the place of "Merry Maids"....the laughter does not end around here.

The other place I was today....was at an Outpatient Surgery Center with Rick.  For the past 10 years Rick has gotten headaches when he bends over. Today the Dr. did a blood-patch in his spinal column.  Afterwards, he bent over....no headache!!! 

I've been busy shipping for the holidays.  I ship twice a day....Postman picks up in the morning and I head to the Post Office at 4:30.  You still have until Monday to take advantage of the 25% off Suggested Retail Price Sale at IHAN.  You can get the Alex Anderson 4 in 1 Essential Sewing Tool for just 12.00 if your order is over 100.00.  Good time to pick up some things for the spring!!!  Remember those orders are only good if e-mailed to IHaveANotion@yahoo.com

Smiles,

Kelly

Dear Santa,

Dear Santa,

A little mouse told me that you were reading our lists and you wanted to know what we want for Christmas. 

I clicked over HERE

And saw THIS.

A fat quarter bundle of Flower Fairies....my little girl sings when looking at this.

Now Santa, you know I was planning on carrying fabrics at IHAN.  Then I decided it would take too much time away from my love of finding wonderful Sewing and Stitching Notions so I will need to be getting my fabrics from some wonderful on-line fabric shops now. 

When I started going through all the fabrics at the Fat Quarter Factory I saw several I liked.  Then when I saw the Green Morning Flower Fairies, my little girl jumped in my heart.  My big girl loves grown up things.....but this sweet little fair red headed little girl that lives in my chest....she likes that fabric.  The grown up Kelly would have to make that little girl a little nap blanket just like she did for her boys.  It is never too late to have a wonderful childhood right Santa?  Right!!

Smiles,
Kelly

Something funny about seeing those Flower Fairies....this past weekend I was cleaning up my sewing area. I have two Flower Fairies and some of those cute Tea Pots they are like little ornaments. I sometimes feel embarrassed because I love them. I had them hung up by fishing string and I put them on this little ornament tree. 

I received these from Rick and the Girls when we lived in SC.  I have always treasured them.

And look what happened to here little feet when I was moving her.  I have the little feet but they were so small and difficult to glue back on.  I know this sounds so strange for a 45 year old woman to have a hard time with this....but I did....I could not look at her without feet.  So I quickly put her back on the shelf and thought I would ask Rick to fix her when he got the time.  Funny how the little kids in us still love Christmas and the other little things that our Grown Up selves think are silly.

Thank you Fat Quarter Factory and the little Flower Fairies for reminding the grown up Kelly.....that Christmas can still be fun.....as long as my little girl Kelly comes out to play.

PS Santa....you know I'm naughty most of the time....but it is not my fault....its my genetics.....ROFL

Needle Arts Guild of Toledo Met Last Night

Last night was the last guild meeting of the year for the Toledo Needle Arts Guild.   We had a raffle for this beautiful wreath with member made ornaments.  It was so beautiful....this photo does not even get close to showing how beautiful the ornaments were.  Lots of very talented and generous ladies in the guild. 

Caren, our outgoing President, won the raffle.  I thought it was great that she won.

I finally got my computer working again.  Rick came home for lunch and fixed it right up.  I think this machine likes him better than it does me....I'm so glad it likes someone :)

Smiles,
Kelly

Little Green Men and XXXQQQMMM and Z too!

Ever where I look all I find are little green boogies!!!

Oprah just had to get in on the fun too you know!!

On top of all th little green men, my computer is doing funny things...and I'm not laughing!!!  I hope Rick comes home for lunch so I can post without such frustration.  XXXXXZZZZZZZQQQQQQ and HHHHHBBBBMMMMM too!!

Temporary Upside Down Smiles,

Kelly

Too Good To Be True?

Well, I'm not sure if I'm dreaming or not....this seems too good to be true.  I got a package in the mail yesterday and look what was in it:

Mary Jane bought this for me from Joyce at their Holiday Sale last weekend.  I just love the colors.  Isn't it so cute?  I think it is an Indygo Junction Pattern.

As if that was not enough, later in the day I had to go to the store for some Milk and Cinnamon Bagels (the boys love these....no raisins though).  I was passing a display and I felt this jolt....like a lightening bolt to my upper chest.  Was it a heart attack? 

No....it felt too good.....like a lightening bolt from Cupid.  I glanced down and what did my weary eyes behold:

All of a sudden I got warm all over (nothing like a hot flash....more like my water breaking).  I felt like I was floating off the ground a little bit .... like an out of body experience.  I heard the most amazing music in my head.....like angels were singing all around me.....was I about to make my transition from this earth?  NOPE.....it was just those Tim Tams speaking to me.  

HERE in the US....TIM TAMS put out by Pepperidge Farm. 

Now, I beg you to use caution when making a decision to purchase these.  There is no warning label on them like there are cigarettes and liquor.  You have to depend on your own sense of inner guidance to know what the recommended dosage is on these little bites of pure heaven.  As far as I know, there are no 12 step groups for these, so prepare to go it alone from here.  I don't ever plan on recovery from Tim Tams so please don't ever contact me and request help.....it is no use!!!  You can never blame me for your addiction either....because you had informed consent!!!  From here on out.....you are on your Tim Tam own :)

Via con Dios`

Celestial Smiles,

Kelly

Twiddletails Blog Giveaway Alert

Twiddle Tails Blog is having a giveaway for some beautiful fabrics.  The fabric line is Wild Thyme and she has the entire line.  So....if you want a little gift for yourself you might want to stop by and check out her giveaway and store. 

Smiles,
Kelly

Parlor Pets at the Fall Quilt Market Houston 2009, Yes there is more!!! LOL

Just when you thought I had posted everything I saw while in Houston.....here comes more.  Yes, I take tons of photos as many of you already know.

I love these patterns by Parlor Pets.  They jumped right out at me and my playful spirit.  I want to have one of these in every room just for conversation.  Can you imagine?  Of course, I already have those green boogies.....hmmmmm....I guess I'd find room for both :)

This pattern is to hold those grocery bags. 

Tell me you wouldn't want to have or make one of these cool animals?  Can you imagine the smiles you would get if you made them as gifts?  I know I would be so thrilled and would never forget that gift, ever.

Interesting thing is, these patterns are not available through any of the distributors.  So if you are interested in buying some, you will have to let me know which ones so I can order them directly.  As many of you know, I don't like to stock a zillion patterns and products.  I'm not a warehouse so I avoid buying too many of any one item at a time.  However, I do plan on placing an order for these patterns so if you could please leave a comment  or e-mail (IHaveANotion@yahoo.com) on which one or seven you would be interested in making I can add those to my order.  Click on Parlor Pets Link to see the other patterns.

Smiles,

Kelly

Quilt Woman Wants You

Here is your chance to have your work made into a pattern!!! 

We are looking for people who make handmade items that could be written into patterns and published into booklets. We especially want recycled crafts like purses made from old wool sweaters for example. If you or a friend make something that everyone says "can you make me one?" then it might be something we are interested in here at QuiltWoman.com. Designers are paid a royalty for their patterns that sell. Feel free to email me a picture of what you make at info@quiltwoman.com.



Thank you and Happy Holidays to all!

Nancy Dill
President
QuiltWoman.com
http://quiltwoman.com
42 Nichols Street
Spencerport, NY 14559
1.877.454.7967
585.617.4866
Fax: 585.617.4858

It is in your hands now!!!  You can sit at home and collect royalties.  She did not say you will live like royalty.....collecting royalties and living like royalty....well...why not....who knows you might end up living like Royalty right? 

Smiles,
Kelly

Sew Fantastic 7th Day of Christmas Giveaway

Click here to see the 7th Day of Christmas giveaway at SewFantastic's blog.  You could win some beautiful fabric donated by Hawthorne Threads!!

Smiles,
Kelly

Lovely Giveaway Alert

Green Fairy Quilts

Check out the lovely giveaway at Green Fairy Quilts.  Julie and Clint are giving away a layer cake & a jelly roll with one of Julie's patterns, Flower Patch.

They are also having a pattern buy one get one free sale.  You will also get a charm pack with every purchase over $10.00.  Now that is a wonderful sale.  

Smiles,

Kelly

Nipper Spring Action Microtip by Famore, Stainless Steel Sidehopper by Tooltron and DOVO Scissors

Everyone knows I am in love with scissors.  I can't tell you the number of pairs of scissors I own including  for the kitchen, garden, crafting, paper, quilting, sewing and needlework.  I am always open to trying new scissors and I always buy the ones that work and work well for the job I'm doing.  

The top left photo is of the Nipper Spring Action Microtip by Famore.  These were just too interesting not to get.  They cut very nicely and I love the sharp tip for applique and snipping.  The next pair are Sidehopper Jump Stitch Scissor by Tooltron.  These little babies are so nice for snipping a single thread.  They are very fine and I like the easy squeeze handles.  I use them for applique, embroidery and punchneedle. 

The last two photos are of scissors that I will be getting in soon from Germany.  They are the Dovo Solingen made of the finest German steel.  I own these scissors and I am in love with them.  They cut like buttah.  Hands down they are the finest scissors I own.  They are high end and have the price that comes along with the quality.  They should be arriving next week.

Want a fun and interesting gift to give?  Think of these items and other fun notions, where?  I Have A Notion of course :)

Smiles,

Kelly

MAJOR GIVEAWAY ALERT RUN DON'T WALK

The Original Scrapbox, Scrapbook storage, Workbox, EZ View Craft Desk.

RUN DON'T WALK....YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS ONE....AND IF YOU DON'T WANT IT....I DO.....SO YOU CAN GIVE IT TO ME :)

Click here too!!!  Lots of opportunities to win.

Thank you Amy...Park City Girl

Smiles,
Kelly

Antie Em and a Wizard not in OZ but in OH

On my way to see the Wizard today, I thought I saw Dorothy and Toto .....but it was just a trampoline. Can you believe the wind did this?  It did. (Yes...I always carry my camera!)

This is where the Wizard's Magic takes place: Super Suppers in Perrysburg, OH!!!  You were not thinking I cook....no....I heat :)  I don't like to cook but these gals love to cook and they make everything so easy.  They really make me look good at the dinner table.  Better than plastic surgery and cheaper too!

You can stop by and pick up pre-made meals or you can stop in and put together several meals to put in your freezer.  It does not get any easier than this....and they clean up the mess!!!   The only improvement I can think of .....is if they folded my laundry and put it away.  OK....I'm dreaming....a girl can dream you know.

Smiles,

Kelly

Have You Met Lois?

I love Lois....she has 6 followers....come on....lets show her some love!!!  You won't be disappointed....she is one neat person with lots of fun projects and stories.  I hate for anyone to miss reading her blog.  Get right over there and read it....and not because she posted about me.....honestly......she is really interesting and talented.  You need to see the scarf she made for her step-mother.  It is soooo sad that her step-mother moved without telling Lois.  Yep....she told me to tell Lois to ship her scarf my address and said she would pick it up here.  (VBS)

Wicked Smiles,
Kelly
(VBS=very believable stuff?)
When she reads this....I'm in for it....I can see it now....I'll be run over with her sewing machine...LOL

10 Tips for Resolving Tension Issues by Susan Brubaker Knapp

Susan Brubaker Knapp has written 10 Tips for Resolving Tension Issues and it was published today on Quilting Daily.  I thought it was very interesting and wanted all of you to know about it too!!

I had the pleasure of meeting Susan while in Houston for Quilt Market.  We were both sitting on the sofa in the Hilton working on posting to our blogs.  She is a lovely and very talented lady. 

Her DVD,  Master Machine Quilting: Free-motion Stitching and Thread Sketching is available through Interweave Press.  

Susan teaches you the basics of free-motion machine stitching, including thread work to enhance the surface and quilting to hold the layers together beautifully. Find out what materials you’ll need and how to get started. Beginners and intermediates—and those who have been too terrified to try until now—will find inspiration and answers, as well as lots of tips, techniques, and practical information to improve their machine stitching. Stitchers of all levels will benefit from Susan’s thorough approach—from her careful consideration of materials and preparation (including advice on how to chill out), to the differentiation between thread sketching and machine quilting. Learn the benefits and purpose for each of these methods, and find plenty of inspiration through Susan’s artful examples.

Kelly
Smiles,

Alex Anderson's 4 in 1 Essential Sewing Tool NOW AVAILABLE 16.95

NOW AVAILABLE $16.95 at I Have A Notion!!!

Four Must-Have Quilting and Crafting Tools in One Flat-ended presser cap for finger pressing, folding, burnishing. Super-sharp BERNINA seam ripper for fast unsewing. Pointed wood end cap for turning bias tubes and and doll parts. Extra-long stiletto.

Click here to order your 4 in 1 Essential Sewing Tool before they are sold out.

Smiles,
Kelly

Virtual Christmas Quilt Show at SewCalGal

Darlene from SewCalGal is hosting a Virtual Christmas Quilt Show.  Not only is there a show, but an opportunity to win some really wonderful prizes too.  This is my entry:

"Christmas Baltimore"

These blocks are 12 of  Elly Sienkiewicz's patterns from her Baltimore Album books.  It is needle turn applique done in  red and green fabrics.  The quilt is 74 x 94 and was made in 1994. 

I love Baltimore Album quilts.  Red and Green just happen to be two of my favorite colors too.  So, naturally I love this quilt. 

I was turning 30 that year and did not like it one bit.  I was unmarried and had no children.  I had a great career but the fella I was dating at the time was definitely not marriage material.  Sitting at my desk I decided I needed to get away.  So I phoned the travel agent and gave them my credit card number.  I told them I wanted to leave for a week, send me anywhere in the world but bring me back in one week.

Then I walked down the hall to my boss' office and asked for a week off.  I knew that would not be a problem but I figured I better ask first since it was that next week.  

By the time I got back to my desk the travel agent phoned me to tell me I was going on a cruise leaving that Sunday returning the following Sunday.  Cool beans!!!

I had the time of my life.  I danced on deck during the parties (yes alone) and went to shows, snorkeled, para-sailed, shopped, slept, ate and exercised when I wanted to.  No one could believe I was alone.  Like traveling alone is unheard of or something.

While snorkeling I learned about nude beaches.  A bit of a surprise to me because I had never experienced this before.   I was jealous of how comfortable these people were.  Being fair skinned I have always feared the sun.  But, I was turning 30, and I felt like had not yet lived.  So.....yep you guessed it!!!  I walked way down the beach where no one could see me....I mean no one!  I put my towel down....took off my swimsuit....laid on my towel....I figured 30 seconds was plenty of time to be able to claim I had done some nude sun bathing.  On went my suit....up came the towel and I walked away all proud of myself. 

You may be asking yourself, "What does turning 30 and nude sun bathing have to do with a Christmas Baltimore?" 

The quilt was made the year I turned 30. 

My dear friend Mary Jane made the quilt and loaned the picture and details to me so I could have a quilt in the Virtual Christmas Quilt Show.  Since I don't really have a story to go with it....I figured I would tell you a story about the same time the quilt was being made.

So there you have it....a story and a quilt.  I qualify now!!!  

Smiles,
Kelly

Denyse Schmidt Giveaway!

Sweet Liberty is hosting a Denyse Schmidt Giveaway.  The only way to beat me out of a chance at this fabric is to hop on over and add your name to the list.  (Subliminal message....my name is Kelly Jackson....my name is Kelly Jackson.....my name is Kelly Jackson) now go add your name (Kelly Jackson) to the list.

Smiles,
Kelly

Once Upon A Time

there was a beautiful fairy princess(she did not know she was beautiful because she was young and stupid).  She was carefree and she stitched in the evenings after work.  This is an example of one of her creations:

I found these items up over the garage packed away.  The two ornaments were stitched by a very talented friend, Karen Van Wert of Flushing, MI.

Ahhhhh and now the fairy princess has 5 children and a home business.  Memories are so much fun!!

Smiles,

Kelly

Daylight Needlework Up Light 65.99 Only at I Have A Notion

Here I am in my very clean house fully dressed with my spectacles on doing some stitching.  I have fresh flowers delivered daily and really enjoy relaxing during the afternoon with a bit of stitching. 

 Daylight Needlework Up Light 

If you are a regular reader you are already rolling your eyes.  If not, you should roll your eyes.  This is not even my reality.....however needing more light is.  I find the older I get, the harder it is to see without very bright lights.  I prefer Daylight Lights because they are brighter (just ask my neighbors....I have them in every light on the first floor and my house looks like a landing strip).

The Daylight Needlework Up Light (suggested retail 89.99) is only 65.99 through December 15th at I Have A Notion.  Why such a good deal?  Because if you are like me, you wait to buy these types of stitching accessories when they go on sale.  We wait and wait and wait and typically don't get around to getting ourselves a nice light.  So if this describes you or a dear friend or family member, stop by I Have A Notion and see the good deals for yourself.

Bright Smiles,

Kelly

Moda Bake Shop Sampler - 480 Fun Filled Charms ONLY 35.00

You don't want to miss getting one of these  Moda Bake Shop Samplers .  They are 35.00 and there are 480 mini charm squares for your creative pleasure.  They make wonderful gifts too.  There are 12 mini charm square packages in the newest of Moda's fabrics.  You could even break them up and give them to 12 of your quilting friends for an affordable and fun surprise or stocking stuffer.

Supplies are limited because these are a one time deal :)

 Smiles,

Kelly